He’s A Rainbow

13 07 2008


The other morning, right after Mom had left for work, Noel starting taking out my vintage lunchboxes.  I soon realized that he was arranging them in one long colorful line.  He then proceeded to step through them.  Then he would make the line longer. Then step through them again. Rinse. Repeat.



I was really quite proud and fascinated all at the same time.  He then loudly proclaimed, “Rainbow!!”  Before I had kids I wondered what the big deal was.  Now I see that it is so many “little deals” that add up to an experience far too complex to explain, yet laughably simple. 




Bert Convy, As I Call Him

6 07 2008


Yes, that is a canceled royalty check from the late great Bert Convy, the most underrated actor of his generation.  Bert Convy, as I call him, played professional baseball, recorded records as a vocalist, did tons of 70’s TV & movies, and was the game show host with the most…hair, anyway.  Why am I obsessed? I do not know.

Hey Noel, it’s been done before.

6 07 2008


I walked into the den and found Noel eerily watching the TV poltergeist snow.  He even had his hand up on the screen.  I wonder if he will accidentally recreate any other movie scenes.  Perhaps something from The Phantom Of The Paradise or Planet Of The Apes.  I’m really hoping for the Apes.

Please Hollywood, Stop Making Movies Like Daddy Daycare. I Am Quite Capable Of Caring For My Children Without Having To Clean Poop From The Ceiling As The Surrounding Madness Ensues Around Hapless “Daddy” Because He’s A Man And Only Knows About Football And Strippers And Beer.

1 07 2008

Being a stay-at-home dad to a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old can be difficult.  I mean, difficult in a way that you have never experienced before.  It’s also intertwined with all of these emotions that you have never felt before.  Any parent that has gone through, or is going through, this must understand what I am saying.  You get caught up in all of the little annoying things, sometimes, and it blinds you from the really good things.  Your sense of mortality increases.  Your own childhood issues resurface.  You just identify yourself differently. People always talk about things like lack of sleep and not being able to go out, but it is so far deeper than those things.  All of the cliches in the world are just useless.  Yet, it seems like you hear these tired cliches the most – especially when you are expecting.  God, it’s painful sometimes.  The Mr. Mom-Michael Keaton thing needs to die.  It is not only tired, but it is such an oversimplification of what it is to be a dad that stays home with his children.  It’s not just oatmeal-in-the-vcr type of shenanigans.  It is time to get past these stereotypes.  I am perfectly capable of taking care of my children, as is my wife.  It is that simple.  Ok, gotta go get oatmeal out of my son’s hair.